par·a·digm Shift– A fundamental change in approach or underlying assumptions.  Your view point or your perspective towards a particular thing completely changes in flash of a time. That’s Paradigm shift.

Covey has the best example of a paradigm shift: he was traveling in a subway, a man gets in with his two sons, the sons are running all over the place bothering the people, this continues, so he finally gets irritated enough to ask the father why he doesn’t do something to control his kids. The father replies, “We just got back from the hospital where their mother died. I don’t know how to handle it and I guess they don’t either.”

Suddenly you see the everything differently. That is the power of a paradigm shift. They are the same kids yelling and screaming in the subway, but you look at them and understand them in a different way.

Paradigm Shifts:

  1. How You Do One Thing Is How You Do Everything.
  1. All Behavior And Experience Has A Positive Intention.

For the part of the person that is responsible for a particular behavior, that behavior has a positive intention. And here’s the magic sprinkles of this…“every act is an act of love or a cry for love.” No exceptions!

  1. Your Challenges Are Your Greatest Gifts.

Your challenges provide a solution to other people with the same or similar problem. We look at them as problems, but we‘re looking at them the wrong way. They‘re actually gifts. They‘re the things that will allow us to experience miracles in our life and help others experience miracles in their lives. Your problem is their solution.

  1. There’s No Such Thing As Failure, Only Feedback.

There is no such thing as failure, only experience. Experience is feedback, and feedback is what enables us to adjust our behavior in the direction of success. All information that comes to us can be utilized. Behavior always gets results of some kind. Experience provides the opportunity for gaining wisdom! If is only when we label and judge personal experience – rather than understand and use it, that we short-circuit the opportunity to learn. Feedback is what enables us to adjust our behavior in the direction of success. We only fail when we stop trying!

  1. Everyone Is Winning The Game They Are Playing.

People work perfectly to produce the results they’re getting. No one is broken! And this is going to through some of you for a loop, but here goes… There is no such thing asself-sabotage. If we are playing the game of self-sabotage…getting distracted by perfectionism, our busy lives, etc. we are winning the game of being distracted. If I keep telling myself “I don’t belong here”, then I’m going to be focused on any and all evidence that proves

that to me…that might be misplacing the call-in information or convincing yourself that the question you have isn’t valuable or that other people are more special, they are making friends, getting ahead and you’re somehow on the outside looking in. What someone is experiencing is what they want to be experiencing. The bottom line is that we make the best choices available given our resources/environment/conditioning

at the time. Healing, growth and success are not a question of getting rid of behaviors but rather a question of acquiring more behavioral choices.

  1. The More Flexible You Are (Versus Rigid) The More You Have The Ability To Determine The Quality Of Your Experience At Any Point In Time.

Flexibility refers to choice. Rigidity refers to no choice. No choice means compulsive or automatic behavior. Having choice in any context gives us the freedom to respond in useful and satisfying ways.

  1. Anyone Can Learn To Do Anything.

If one person can do something, it is possible to model it and teach it to anyone else. Anything can be accomplished by anyone if it is broken down into small enough chunks.

  1. In Order To Grow, You Have To Let Go Of The Thing You Are Attached To That’s Stopping You.

For things to change you have to change. You have to let go of all the “if’s” and “but’s.” The “if’s” and “but’s” keep you where you are.  You may have to let go of shame, blame, doubt, guilt, limited perception, and resentment… whatever keeps you stuck. We always have to let go of something to get to the next stage of our evolution.

  1. The Meaning Someone Makes About What Happened Is More Meaningful Than The Content Of What Happened.

So it’s not about what happened to you – although this can be useful… it’s really about what meaning you made about what happened to you.

  1. “How” Is More Useful Than “Why?”

Asking “how?” is useful in that it naturally leads to breaking a process down into manageable chunks. Be much more interested in how someone creates their internal experience versus why.  Asking “why?” usually prompts rationalization, excuses, stories, and/or blame for the way things are. We can’t heal and change if we’re stuck in the why. Blame, shame, victim-hood, fear… these mind states override our ability to let go which is a key part of transformational process.

  1. Big Issues Require Little Changes Little changes will take care of big issues.
  2. Beliefs create our experiences and our experiences confirm our beliefs.
  3. Every time we are confronted with moving forward we are also confronted with allowing someone else to stay where they are.
  4. We live in a mirroring universe.

    There is nothing we experience that we do not create, promote, or allow. That said, every moment and every experience is perfectly orchestrated for your evolution. Most people think things are happening to them and miss the beauty of it all happening FOR them by them.

  5. All parents love their children.

    All children love their parents. No exceptions! The only variable is whether this love will demonstrated congruently and beautifully or become twisted and so severely deformed that it is not recognizable as itself.

  1. There are only two experiences that are intolerable for children:  

    To not know the rules of how life works and to not belong. Anything else seems workable. Children will ingest, digest, and assimilate anything, including lies about themselves, that will support this understanding and belonging. In the family system children are eager to be the source of the problem, so that they can have hope to be the source of the solution. The experiences we learn to survive become the conditions upon which our continued survival depends. Suffering Obligations of Love The source of suffering is in the ways we suffer for other people in an unworkable effort to say “I love you.”

  2. Today’s limiting belief was yesterday’s solution.

    Transformation can only occur when we appreciate the positive intention of the present state before revising it. Each of us has a legacy of Ecology that makes being okay not okay. Our intention with transformational coaching is to reconcile the illusion of this conflict.

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