Hi, Dee-Dee Devin here from Deevine Intervention Lifestyle & Nutrition Health Coaching. I want to share with you 6 Catalyzing Questions to take you out of Despair and Overwhelm, and back into Hopefulness!

I want to talk about getting unstuck because I actually was doing some cleaning, organizing, decluttering…..and I came across these power questions that I used early on in my health coaching practice, that was my go-to questions when I felt stuck, in a rut, when I was free-falling into despair about not making enough money, conflict in my relationship or my eating habits had fallen off track, orrrr, maybe I was panicked about time…. not enough time not enough spaciousness, feeling victimized like no personal freedom right it’s like all these things can have a spin in a rut and we go through these cycles where we’re hopeful and optimistic and more fierce than we think, everything’s lined up and I’m doing it and I’m getting it going, and then….we have these times where it’s just downpouring of despair, anxiety, hopelessness and worry….Like right now is just Another one of those times!

Soooo, I was excited to share with you today and one of the things that I think is so incredible about being a coach is that you’re a collector of powerful questions and the quality of your questions can be really empowering! There are some questions that are sort of medium frequency, some questions just don’t really move the needle at all ….. and then, there are these high mileage questions that can kind of unlock that rut and get things moving again…. So, I wanted to share with you 6 Catalysing Power Questions that I recently found in an old notebook, and, I’d love to share these with you… so Are you ready for these power questions? OK, here we go!

Six power questions to get unstuck:

What’s not perfect yet? And I’m not just talking about this single event that we are now plagued with but I’m talking in general…. and notice, that It’s very Deliberately worded… because it’s That’s when we start to be hard on ourselves… is when we want it all to be just so perfect, and anything that’s off starts to arrest all of our attention where we’re not even focused anymore on everything that’s going well…. but we’re just focused on even if it’s a small thing, it just captures our intention and almost engulfs us; so this question helps us notice where our fixation is on what’s not perfect yet, and that’s the first question!

The next question, is, What’s Good About This?  What’s good about this?  In other words, what’s the opportunity here? What’s the opportunity here? So, when something’s not perfect, what’s the opportunity? What’s the Invitation that’s happening here?

The next question, is What am I willing to Do to Make it the way I want it? What am I willing to do to make it the way I want it?

Now, these questions only work, if you’re willing to get Radically Honest! What am I willing to do to make it the way I want? It’s not always about your Resources…it’s about your Resourcefulness!

The next question is, What Am I No Longer Willing To Do or Tolerate? No longer willing to do or tolerate, said even simpler, What must I drop, Or, what must I let go of?  Is it a way of thinking? A belief? Is it something that’s taking up your time unnecessarily? Is it a distraction, a narrative?

This is very important…. to notice the stories you’re telling. Are you telling a story about yourself that’s actually victimizing? Disempowering and therefore, you’re further Anchoring in and even getting others to commiserate with you around this disempowering story? That’s not very helpful.

It’s OK to tell a story to be witnessed in your pain, but I had a teacher who told me…. you can tell that story to be witnessed three times, because there is power in being witnessed, there is healing in being witnessed, and saying yes… this is the experience you’re having. Yes! That happened to you so…. it’s not to deny your experience…. it Is to be witnessed so we can move on…. but after you come to me with That Story 3 times, the fourth time I’m closing the door.

No more. And, it’s helpful to ask people in your life to hold you accountable to that. If I come to you with This Story about why I can’t do be, do, or have what I want, I want you to mirror me back…. saying Hey, you’re telling that story again would you like to tell a New story….and that can be very empowering!

OK, so I digressed a little bit. What must I let go of?

Let me review them again, real quick.

The first one, What’s not perfect yet?

Second one: What’s good about this? In other words, what’s the Opportunity or the Invitation?

3rd question, What Am I Willing to Do to Make it the Way I Want It?

4th question: What am I No Longer Willing to Do, or Tolerate? In other words, what must I drop?

5th question: What’s the Action, Worth Taking Based on These Insights? What’s the action worth taking based on these insights? and the 6th question, one of my favorites; How can I enjoy the process? Ding-Ding-Ding!!! Because when we’re finding ourselves stuck in a rut, stuck at home, you know what’s going on people? You’re not having enough fun! You’re taking yourself Waaaay too seriously, and it’s time to push the Play button (which is the same as the Pause button) and have a little fun.

So how can I enjoy the process? What do you need to do to enjoy it? That’s why I put on my bright sweater today and these new earrings,  but Have Fun and Enjoy the Process!!!

So, I’m wondering can you see yourself using these six power questions to get unstuck to start to feel more empowered?

I, like to say, that Whatever is happening…is not happing To You, and it’s still a little ego-centric to say it’s Happening For You…the truth is…..It’s What’s Happening Through You?

It’s about who you get to become on the journey, which is More Resilient, More Mature, More Emotionally Intelligent, more flexible, versus rigid….. and Ultimately, more Kind and Compassionate to yourself….and that you’re going through a process, and life is a series of changes, right? And Intelligence is how we adapt to those changes.

You start to get old when you lose your ability to adapt, That’s what it’s all about. So we’re learning emotionally, mentally, physically, how to adapt to change because change is not a power struggle; whereby if change occurs we win! Change should really feel like Dancing, not Wrestling.

Ohhh, that’s a good one…. the conversation about change should feel like dancing, not wrestling.

So, I hope you find these questions handy and you might just post it on your wall, posted on your refrigerator or post them on the side of your computer. I put all kinds of post-it notes with empowering questions next to my computer so that during the day, I am seeing these and making sure that my attention is where I want it to be….

Which is on Empowering questions versus Disempowering questions…. versus narratives that have me move forward in a direction towards what I want, And Who I wanna be, how I wanna see myself, versus narratives that Kill myself!

I have a few more ways or suggestions to cut through that disempowering narrative for you how do you snap yourself out of it and stand up tall again when you’re facing anxiety, worry, despair, about things not working out, how to pick yourself up again, or you’re just not, you know you’re not feeling it…. And so, for the sake of time, and, since I don’t have anything else to do, and as long as you want to listen… I’ll run off just a few more ideas:

For me, I prefer the one-stop-shop or the Short Cut Question! You’ve heard of the 12 steps….well I like the short cut 1 step. The ONE question I always ask myself is, “Does this serve my highest purpose?” And if it doesn’t serve my highest purpose, I choose anything else!

Another great question: Ask yourself, Is it True? What I’m thinking or worrying about, Can I be sure, that this is Absolutely true? And, it’s usually not true, it’s just a story.

Shower and Nature always change my mind.

I have another practice I call it the 10-second rule.  I Feel whatever negative emotion that I’m feeling…. so if it’s worry, if it’s fear, if it’s anxiety, if it is um resentment, like count to 10 and go up and feel all the feels of this feeling, because, at the count of 10, I’m going to change my attitude… and then go 123456789 ten and count a little slower but you get the picture, and as I get to 10 I then I literally say out loud: Change Your Attitude! You gotta know what you want to change it to, that helps to do it beforehand, and sometimes I have to do two to three cycles before I can finally let go of what I was hanging on to, and adopt the new emotion…. And it helps to exercise that muscle on a regular basis because That’s Power!

That really is power, to be able to State Change! Or, Choose to Change your State!

You’ve heard the saying, “Come to your senses?” That’s What I’m talking about!

Another way to Change your State is to grab a smell, like an essential oil, I keep this Lavender spray handy, that helps you change your state,  put on a song so something that you’re listening to, something that you taste, is I’m going to become the taste, so sweet right? I can eat something spicy and I can become spicyJ I need a little fire in me, right?

Is that we can Come to Our Senses, and then it’s not about this Big Story, it’s just about right here, right now, and Who can we be? How do we get that in our systems, and our nervous system!

I work-out, to get unstuck! If you want to change your Emotion, Change your Motion! Dance party!!!!

A few tools I have in my toolkit for my personal clients are something that’s called EBT and EFT….I won’t get into that right now….but…

You can ask yourself, whether what you’re experiencing is helping or hindering your progress, and then whether or not I want to continue with that experience…. Sometimes I do, I find myself in a funk and I Actually am committed to being in a bad mood, and I was more committed to being in a bad mood than getting in a good mood… and there’s something empowering about Acknowledging that you know what, I’m not done storming in this bad mood yet and I’m just going to give myself permission to be here for as long as I need to be…. so that we’re not conquering it, fighting it off- it’s just like you know what, actually I’m choosing it and that’s a Proactive choice that I’m cool with because at least that’s empowering!

So, you’re not being victimized by it, it’s saying no, I’m Proactively choosing to feel stuck about this right now, for another 10 minutes, for another hour, all day!  I want to be in a bad mood all day, and sometimes you do, and then you’re getting ready to let go…. but that’s More empowering….. so I am choosing and Choice is freedom!

I hope you enjoyed this and it’s been my pleasure to be here with you today!

Namaste

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